She knew the moment they met that they weren't compatible. He sat down next to her one the bus, just like any other day, but this time he said "Hi."
She responded with a polite smile and a nod. She didn't know the pain she was inviting into her life.
"My name's Darius." He added, with an eagerness that was unfamiliar to her. Grownup's always say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover and give people a chance to prove themselves. So she regarded her feeling of unease as discomfort with strangers. She ignored the pit of her stomach that told her something was not right.
"You're Angelina." He pointed at the name on her book bag. "I know from your bag. I keep seeing you on this bus. I figured it was about time I said something."
The nice part was also the part that tricked her. Darius liked her and for Angelina that was an anomaly. Most people didn't like her. She was too gruff. Too aggressive. Too rough around the edges. She didn't like girly things and she didn't go in for a girlish attitude.
Angelina liked to run. She wore sports bra's and wife beaters and cutoffs. She wasn't patient with children or polite to old people. Worst of all, she hated puppies and kittens. And when the girls in school made fun of her, she didn't tell them to fuck off. She ignored them because she didn't have time for their stupid games.
So when he sat down next to her every day that week, she felt a little honored. And when he engaged her in conversation, she felt at ease. And when he finally asked for her phone number, she felt a little special. That's why she ignored the rumbling in her stomach. And why she continued to forget all the ways he drove her crazy.
He was Manager of a Pizza Hut, attending Bartending School. She was a graffiti artist, attending Cosmetology College. The only thing they really had in common was their double lives. He held a real job to please his parents. She was studying cosmetology to appease her mother.
At first they were friends. She told him flat out there wasn't a chance in hell of anything else developing. He readily settled for friendship. She loved that he liked her. He called her all the time and he invited her on little adventures.
One of the adventures was a trip to Marine World. They made fun of all the park attendants and ran around, laughing like small children. Late in the day they stopped at a food vendor. He ordered two hotdogs, one for each. He put ketchup on his dog.
"No person with taste likes yellow mustard." Darius told her.
"I like yellow mustard." She said, squirting a long line down her dog.
A familiar smug look bloomed on his face, "I'll teach you better."
She took a big bite of her dog and leaned in to chew in his face.
"Enjoy it." He said. "'Cause it's your last."
He walked away, eating his dog. She followed and held her tongue. There was a lot of tongue holding around Darius. He loved to debate and he loved even more to be right. He loved it so much that he didn't care if he actually was right. He only had to be the most right.
He bought tickets for her favorite band. They stood outside in the pouring rain, waiting for the doors to open. Inside she headed straight for the bathroom. She spent the better part of twenty minutes trying to warm up under the hand dryer. He was waiting for her outside the bathroom. When she apologized he laid into her. They spent another twenty minutes arguing about how inconsiderate she was and then went home without seeing the band.
It took a year to reach the last straw. Angelina's mom invited Darius over for a family dinner. Mom went all out, cooking a beautiful spread for the three of them.
After they were all seated Mom asked Darius, "Would you open the wine?"
He held up the bottle of blush. "You don't have any white?"
"Why have white, when you can split the difference?"
Angelina rolled her eyes. Mom was so corny. She looked over at Darius to share a grin but he was not amused.
"White would better suit the meal." He said with a straight face.
Angelina interceded, "It's fine, Darius."
Darius began to stand, "I can run down to the store-"
Mom replied defensively, "I think it's a perfect match to the meal."
"You would." Darius said, his voice dripping with condescension.
Shocked and appalled, Angelina took the bottle of wine from Darius and declared, "I don't think we need wine. There's ice tea."
She put the bottle of wine in the kitchen and when she returned Darius was pouring a glass of tea for himself. Angelina stared at him with disgust. It was over. He could be an ass to her but not to her mom. She'd wait until dinner was done and then end it.
After dinner, out on the street, Angelina turned to Darius. Adrenaline raced through her veins. She opened her mouth, ready to tear him a new one, but he held up a hand.
"I need to get something out of the way." Darius took a deep breath and declared, "I love you."
Angelina blinked.
"Wow." He continued on a sigh. "I said it."
She was determined to speak her peace but he stopped her again. It was so sudden that she almost didn't realize what was happening. It took a second of staring at his face and feeling his lips on hers before she knew what was happening. He was kissing her. When he moved away, Angelina stumbled back. She was surprised and confounded.
"I couldn't go another moment without saying it." He stumbled over his words as he rushed to get them all out. "And even if you can't love me back. Or you don't want my love, it's better that I said it. I needed to say it."
Angelina blinked and found that there was a whole new stack of straws. No one ever loved her before. And the kiss wasn't all that bad.
She licked her lips, stepped forward, and reached up to try it again. The kiss was better than not bad. It made her warm in all the right places. The chemistry kept her breathless for minutes of intense lip mashing. She wanted more of the feeling. He had to pull back and hold her at arms length.
"There's plenty of time for this." He was out of breath as he spoke to her. "I gotta cool off. I don't want to rush and the way I feel at this very moment isn't slow."
She stared at his face and saw the same old Darius. Nothing had changed. If anything her selfishness was worse. She didn't want him; she wanted the way he made her feel. She folded her arms and tried to find the words from moments before. This was the right moment to tell him off. To end things.
Instead she smiled and waved as he walked away. He called every night that week. She kept the calls short and insisted she wanted to see him in person. That Friday they went out. He called it a 'real date.' She called it 'a sure thing' but didn't say those words to him.
In the back seat of his car she pushed him far as he would go. They were both virgins and although his body was ready to go there, he kept insisting that his mind wasn't. He loved her and he wanted it to be special. He said he loved her. Over and over again, he said he loved her.
She hated it when he said those three little words. Every time he uttered the phrase she kissed him just to shut him up. Weeks passed, the frustration building. Every Friday night she pushed it further but it was baby steps.
She felt like a toddler in church. He wouldn't let her touch him. After the second date, he made her sit on her hands. It was always the same lame excuse. He was a boy and it was too easy for him to loose control. If she touched him, even in the most benign way, he might go crazy.
So he did all the touching and the slowness of his progress, of what he'd allow himself to touch, was pure torture. Each week was a new step. Over the shirt, under the shirt, shirt pushed all the way up. Over the bra, under the bra, without the bra. Over the pants, under one layer of pants, teasing around the panties, then finally inside the panties.
Angelina wasn't in love. She was in lust. And she didn't know anyone else willing to fulfill her desire. So she played the game. Six arduous months passed before he popped the question. Was she ready? She calmly replied 'yes', but inside she screamed 'YES!'
They booked a hotel. Angelina mom was away for the weekend. He told his parents he was going camping with some friends. They packed small overnight bags and she went along with his stupid itinerary. His vision was very specific and full of details that put the final release off until last.
There were rose petals all over the hotel room. And a bottle of smuggled champagne. He fed her strawberries and cream. Then strawberries dipped in chocolate. Light jazz played in the background while he took a shower. Then she took a shower. Finally they got to it.
The first time was quick and painful. She watched him discard the used condom and felt a deep sense of disappointment. He saw the look and lay down next to her.
"We have hours to get it right." He said. "And years after this, if tonight isn't enough. I'd love to marry you, y'know."
In her head she screamed, 'I don't even want to be with you, let alone marry you!'
Aloud she said, "I'm not ready for marriage. Not anytime soon."
"I'm all for taking things slow."
"I know." Angelina replied without the sarcasm she felt.
It took a few hours, but they eventually got it right. They took a bath together and explored the various ways of pleasing each other. She was disgusted by the taste of his cum in her mouth, while he ate her up like she was his favorite treat. It took him a couple of tries to make her orgasm but when she finally came, there was no doubt in her mind that she would come back for more.
She left the motel thinking that maybe sex was the key. She knew lots of couples that didn't seem to like each other, but they stayed together. If sex was the only thing that worked right with her and Darius, she could almost live with it. He adored her. So what if she hated him. There were worse things in life than settling.
Six months later Angelina sat down on the bus next to an older man in a jogging suit. He wasn't quite as old as her father but there was a definite age difference. Angelina smiled at the attractive looking man and asked him if the attire was useful or merely comfortable. He said a good suit and tie was more his style. She'd never seen him on the bus before. His name was Adam and he was on the way to the gym.
She saw Adam a lot that week. She learned that his time on the bus was only temporary. A recent car accident damaged his optical nerve. The doctors weren't sure to the extent of the damage but he was still suffering occasional moments of blindness. He didn't trust himself to drive until they figured out what was wrong.
She told Adam about her boyfriend, Darius. The subject came up in casual conversation and each time she spoke about Darius a similar look of concern crossed Adam's face. She didn't tell Darius about Adam. Not because she was hiding anything but instead because she reserved her time with Darius for other things.
Darius didn't seem to notice her silence. She talked when he prompted her and the rest of the time she let him talk. Angelina figured Darius was fine running the relationship without her input, so why offer anything more. Darius was for fucking, not for talking to.
Two weeks into her friendship with Adam, Angelina realized she had a crush. There was nothing to be done about it. He was older than her and she couldn't imagine anyone but Darius being interested. Darius was her lot. She was too practical to dream of more.
Adam spoke often of swimming in his backyard pool. The spring was turning quickly into summer and Angelina openly envied Adam's daily swims.
"You know, I could share my pool." Adam said. "You could come over for Sunday brunch and take full advantage of the pool."
She avoided his eyes and dismissed his words, "You're being nice."
"The offer's authentic, even if I'm being nice."
"I don't want you're wife...or family...to feel put upon."
Adam laughed. "There is no wife, any longer, and there were never any kids."
"Oh." Angelina was pleased at that news.
He amended, "I have a second wife."
Disappointed, Angelina put on a smile. "Oh?"
"Keeps me busy about 50 to 60 hours a week." He teased. "But she's an upgrade, seeing as she pays for my time."
The smile became real as Angelina said, "Your job."
"A job is a great second wife." He said. "Now, as for that invitation, if you're worried about being alone with some old guy you met on the bus, bring a friend. Bring your boyfriend."
"Darius isn't into the pleasure of exercise."
Adam furrowed his brow at the tone in her voice. She jumped in before he said anything; "I need an address if I'm coming over on Sunday."
He gave her a business card with his address written on the back. On Saturday she made excuses with Darius and on Sunday walked up to the door of Adam's ranch style house promptly at noon. Adam opened the door wearing long swim trunks and a gaudy Hawaiian shirt. She stared at his outfit.
"Nice...um..." Angelina gave in. "Okay, that's just horrible. I can't even find anything nice to say about it."
He said as she walked in, "Are you here for fashion or the pool?"
They didn't waste any time and hit the pool with a splash. After two races, on where he won and one where he let her win, they relaxed in the shallow end.
"Darius would hate this."
Adam paused and then asked tentatively, "Do you like Darius?"
"He's my boyfriend."
"Yes. But do you like him? As a person?"
Angelina shrugged, "Girls like me don't get many boys that are interested. He likes me. That's enough."
"You're selling yourself short."
"I'm not." She told him. "You're kind and all, but I have what I have because it was there. I'm never gonna get...well, a guy like you."
He opened his mouth and she rushed in so he couldn't say what she expected him to say. "Don't worry about it. You don't need to try and make me feel better. I'm fine with the way things are."
"There's something I want to say," Adam said, "but it might hurt your feelings, and that's not my intention."
She shrugged, "Go ahead."
"You're a little dense sometimes." He said flatly. "You're much more desired and desirable than you give yourself credit. If not for the age difference, I'd be all over you."
Her breath caught in her throat. She tried to swallow it but it was firmly in place. Finally, she coughed it out. Her eyes darted down to the water and back up to his eyes. She could see his reflection in the pool but she could see her reflection in his eyes. Either way, she was disarmed by what she saw.
"I like you...you know." She wanted to see his face but she didn't dare look.
"I suspected."
"And it's only the age thing..." she looked up and watched his reaction, "that's stopping you."
He seemed more thoughtful that disgusted. That was a good sign.
"My age doesn't bother you?"
She shook her head.
"We're talking a decade. At least ten years difference. "
"So."
He pushed his way through the water, until he was standing right next to her. Adam put his fingers on her cheek. The simple touch aroused her more than she was ever aroused with Darius. He slid those fingers down to her neck. She leaned into the caress.
"I don't cheat." Adam said to her. "It's not my way. But if you were single, I'd go there in a heartbeat."
She blinked up at him and felt herself floating through the short distance between them, seeking his lips. He held her back with a gentle smile.
He said, "You need to figure out what you want."
She whispered back, "I know what I want."
"Then let's do this right. Talk to Darius. He deserves to hear it from you."
"Get me the phone."
Adam laughed.
"You can have me now." Angelina insisted, pressing herself into Adam. "I want you to have me now."
She could see he was about to give. She could feel that his words were not lies or kindness. There was nothing old about the man in her arms and she wanted to take full advantage of his experience.
"My wife did this too me." He said, almost to himself. "My ex-wife. And I won't do it to someone else."
He pushed her gently away. The resolution in his eyes was solid and she didn't dare question it. She wasn't going to ruin this. So she backed off.
"I'm afraid this is all just a moment." She said. "And if I leave here, it'll be gone. I'll go back to being that silly girl you met on a bus."
He smiled, amused, and her heart ached in response.
"You think I'm funny?"
"I think you're young." He walked out of the pool and she couldn't help but stare at the bulge in his shorts. "You have yet to realize the power you have over a man. Especially this man."
He covered his embarrassment with a towel and took a seat at the patio table. She pulled herself from the pool and sat down as he began to dish up a palate of food for himself. It was a nice meal and great company, but she didn't waste any time once she left his house. She went straight to Darius.
The break up with Darius was dramatic. He didn't leave her life quietly. He left to the sound of an ambulance siren. Darius left a bloody hole in her wall and a many hurtful words for her to mull over in the silence. She called Adam an hour later and he spent the next two hours reassuring her that the words Darius left behind came from a place of deep hurt. The truth would have to be sifted from the pain.
Angelina's mom was out for the night, so she didn't hesitate to invite Adam over. He picked her up at midnight and by 1am she was naked in his arms.
"I knew from the moment I met him it was wrong." Angelina said to Adam in the dark.
Adam asked, "Then why did you let it happen?"
"I didn't know there was better to have."
"You know now."
She nodded into his chest.
"I think it's kinder to cut loose the one's that don't fit, than to let the pain drag out for selfish means."
"You're wiser than I am." She said with a smile.
"That's code for old, isn't it."
She teased, "More mature."
The sound of skin against skin rang though the darkness, as he slapped her bare ass. She laughed and let him wrestle her into a submissive position. There was no mistake this time. Her gut told her soundly, this one was a keeper. And she was going to make sure well she kept him. Whatever it took.
The End.
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