Phoebe woke up drunk. She barely made it to the bathroom before last night came up in the toilet. The room swayed around her head as she leaned against the cold porcelain bowl. She moved because some guy was going to pee on her if she didn't. The stranger made Phoebe aware of her near nakedness. She was wearing an unbuttoned blue dress shirt. Hastily she buttoned up the shirt and grabbed a stray pair of boxers off the floor. The next goal was to find her clothes.
Woozily she stumbled through each room in search. The only item she found was her iridescent blue trench coat. Not wasting any time, she pulled on the coat and left for home. The walk was refreshing. It cleared out most of her drunk, leaving her with only a pounding headache and raging thirst. At home her kitchen was lit by foggy rays of sunlight. Phoebe drank gratefully from a tall glass. A stray glance at the clock and she choked on the water. She was late for school.
She took a shower to wash off the rank morning-after smell and then drove her mom's car to school. Her parents were away for the week so there were no inquires about her absence. As she drove she tried to remember the night before but all she could come up with were short flashes. She remembered John dumping her. That memory brought a fresh wash of tears to her eyes. She remembered his cruel words as her told her his new girl friend wasn't 'frigid.' There was something else she remembered but it didn't make much sense to her. She remembered making out with Johns best friend.
The school parking lot was packed, she was lucky to find a space, and then she was almost late to home room. The first half hour passed quickly. Phoebe was still in a post-alcoholic daze, so it wasn't until she walked to second period that she noticed the whispers and stares. She made a detour to the bathroom but couldn't find any clues in the mirror.
Carla was standing next to her locker on her way to the next class. Her friend also looked pale and sick. Phoebe smiled in empathy. Carla did not return the smile.
"What were you doing last night?"
"I don't know." Phoebe responded honestly.
"I can't believe you'd do this to me. I was making progress with Mike when you went on a whoring spree." The accusation couldn't be any clearer. "Were you trying to get back at John? I know he deserved it but I didn't."
Phoebe stumbled on her words. "I-I'm not sure what you're talking about." Softly, she pleaded with Carla, "What'd I do last night?"
Carla was disbelieving. "Don't act all dumb. You weren't that drunk."
"Carla, I really don't re-"
She was interrupted, "Whatever. I don't have time for your evasion."
Phoebe was left feeling uneasy as she waited for her next class to end. She tried to remember anything from the night before but she only saw disjointed images. She could see herself having sex but she wasn't sure with whom. John was making out with his new girlfriend and Mike was kissing her. Then someone else was kissing her. Then there was the sex.
The images popping up in her head were more disturbing than her amnesia. John wasn't her first lover but he was on a very short list. She was a modest girl and her decorum extended to the bedroom. Not that John went without, she made sure her man was satisfied, but there were certain things she didn't find appropriate. Phoebe was shocked to remember herself in a list of inappropriate positions.
A pretty red head walked up to Phoebe outside of class. It took as second for her to place the face. She came up with the name Denise and remembered this was the host of last night's party. The girl leaned in close and gave Phoebe a look with clear lesbian overtones.
"Hey, baby. I was hoping I'd see you." The girl put an arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "You were so fun at my party last night I thought we might hook up again. Maybe we could invite the football team over."
Phoebe shrugged the arm off and stepped back. "I don't think so."
"Oh, pooh, don't play that game. I know you're in student government and all that crap but there is no hiding now. Everybody knows about last night. They know just what kind of perverted slut you are and I plan to take full advantage of your new status." Denise wasn't swayed by Phoebe's unyielding look. "You can't get rid of me by reverting to that cold ass bitch routine. I had too much fun last night. I've been looking for a playmate and I think you're it." Denise handed her a slip of paper. "Call me when you get the urge."
Phoebe watched Denise walk off and wondered at her sanity. This day was taking on nightmarish qualities. Her best friend wouldn't talk to her and some strange girl just hit on her. Phoebe let the paper flutter to the ground and rushed down the hallway. She knew somewhere she could hide for a couple hours. It wasn't cozy but at least no one would bother her there.
The boiler room was hot and smelt faintly of socks. There was a spot at the bottom of the stairs hidden from view. Phoebe made her way down and then sat uncomfortably on the floor. Tentatively she closed her eyes and sorted through her fuzzy memories. There was some guy, she wasn't sure who because he was behind her, and they were having sex. She could feel him behind her and then she realized he was not having sex with her.
Her eyes came open as she remembered being sodomised. Her mind was filled of the memory of him pressing into the wrong hole. Phoebe squeaked and her hands flailed. This was worse than she thought. Making out with a couple of guys was one thing and a one night stand was another but this was in the unheard-of realm.
As the memories flooded back, Phoebe felt nausea knotting her stomach. She remembered how it stared. Phoebe was notoriously a lightweight. As a rule she didn't let herself get past one drink. After John dumped her, she went off to find comfort. Carla was talking with Mike and didn't want to be disturbed. Phoebe wandered through the house looking for a friendly shoulder to cry on and when none presented its self she grabbed another glass of beer.
That second glass lead to numerous others and her happy drunk turned into a sluty drunk. Mike was the fourth or fifth guy she made out with. Denise must have noticed Phoebe handing out affection because she led Phoebe to an open bedroom. This is where things got smutty. One of the many available men joined Phoebe and Denise in the bedroom.
It was like watching a dirty porn in her head. She could see Denise between her thighs and feel a strange tongue invade that most private of places. There was a man behind Denise. He was rocking against her with his hands clenched on her bottom. Phoebe could hear him grunt and groan above them. She watched as he pulled his penis out to ejaculate on Denise's ass. The image was fascinating but Phoebe was soon distracted by the sensations pulsating through her own body.
Phoebe remembered the bite of peppermint schnapps. Between guys Denise insisted they do shots. They took turns looking for new partners. Phoebe remembered her sloppy drunk stumble as she walked into the living room and demanded, "Whose next?"
On the cold and dirty floor Phoebe curled up. Uncomfortable feelings tied up her insides. She placed her left palm flat against the floor and stared at her hand as she cried. This was her senior year. There were only two months before graduation. Phoebe knew that she would carry the memories of this year with her forever. She also knew that these new memories would stand above all the others. Last night was the defining movement of her senior year.
"I am so stupid." She said to herself. In one drunken flash she ruined her standing in the student body. She went form a leader to a joke. All those stares and snickers were at her expense. Phoebe covered her face with a dirty hand. She deserved the ridicule. She'd have handed out the same if it was someone else.
Angry with herself and at the world, Phoebe peeled herself from the floor. This wasn't the way to act. She'd made a mistake and now she had to live with it. Hiding in shame wouldn't stop the derision. Nothing would stop that. The only thing to do was show a strong face, wait for them to forget, and then choose a college far away when the time came. Phoebe dusted herself off. She walked up the stairs to the hallway. Before opening the door she took a deep breath.
"I may have given away my dignity but they can't take away my pride." She said and then opened the door.
The End.
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