CAST OF CHARACTERSSALLY: Slut
PENNY: Pervert
ACT I
AT RISE Sally and Penny are sitting at a table in a diner.
SALLY I will do a lot of things-
PENNY I know.
SALLY And I told him as much-
PENNY But he just wasn't impressed?
SALLY The one thing...that one thing...that's all he cares about.
PENNY It's not so bad, you know.
SALLY I really don't need your advice on the matter.
PENNY At least I know what I'm talking about.
SALLY And when's the last time you got laid?
PENNY So...I'm picky.
SALLY For all your claim to fame, all the different ways you've done it, you don't get out much.
PENNY I prefer quality over quantity.
SALLY And I just want to get off.
PENNY To each their own.
SALLY Anyway...he spent the greater part of an hour trying to convince me-
PENNY But you have stubbornness on your side.
SALLY I know what I like and what I don't. I'm liberated like that.
PENNY But, you've never even tried it.
SALLY This is one of those things I don't think I have to try-
PENNY That's such bullshit. I'll give you that many women don't like it-
SALLY And that's not proof enough?
PENNY But this is one of those instances where I think many people just aren't doing it right. You have to have a considerate partner-
SALLY Considering I have a rule against "making love," you'll understand why I don't think the guys I fuck are going to take the time to be "considerate."
PENNY Maybe you're not dating the right guys.
SALLY Another no-no word. I don't date. I fuck. I'm just happy if I can get them to put on the condom before they fuck me. After that, all I care about is getting off.
PENNY I know. I know. A new partner every night.
SALLY Don't call me a slut, slut.
PENNY I'm not a slut. I'm a pervert. Big difference.
SALLY Anyway...I finally let him rim me, which was totally weird, and that got him off.
PENNY Okay, I have to agree with you about the rimming thing. I completely don't get it.
SALLY So you're fine if he penetrates but not if he licks?
PENNY The important part, the nerves and such, are on the inside.
SALLY Huh. Learn something new everyday.
PENNY If you could find a partner that will take it slow-
SALLY I got enough of this last night.
PENNY But-
SALLY What? Now you want to fuck me up the ass?
PENNY No.
SALLY Then...can we not go down that road?
PENNY Sure. I guess I'll just be happy that you can verbalize your sexual preferences.
SALLY Thanks, Dr Ruth.
PENNY I wonder if she's ever tried anal-
SALLY I am so leaving-
PENNY Fine. I'll shut up.
SALLY Only if you buy me another drink, pervert.
PENNY Fine, slut.
THE END